


A Tango with Your Evil Self

by StepperOfTheLongEarth



Series: Homestuck F/F Project! [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Crockertier, Evil is Sexy, F/F, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), Self-Discovery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23637265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StepperOfTheLongEarth/pseuds/StepperOfTheLongEarth
Summary: Jane Crocker has found herself facing against an enemy that she would never have seen coming in a million years.
Relationships: Jane Crocker/Jane Crocker
Series: Homestuck F/F Project! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1702288
Kudos: 4





	A Tango with Your Evil Self

JANE: So, let me get this right. You are evil me?  
JANE: Evil is such a strong word. I am more refined for my purpose.   
JANE: Our purpose.  
JANE: And that is?  
JANE: To seize power.  
JANE: I became president.  
JANE: Cease reproduction.  
JANE: Err...   
JANE: Not for us obviously. Other people who are less sexy then us.  
JANE: Oh good.  
JANE: We still need an heir to our empire.  
JANE: Should we bork Jake then?  
JANE: ...  
JANE: I’m just saying what we both know Roxy would say in this situation.  
JANE: That is a fair approximation of what our bffsies would say to a declaration like that.  
JANE: Anything else?  
JANE: ...Consume.  
JANE: Still on the capitalism wave.  
JANE: Alright that does it.  
JANE: ???  
JANE: Why am I the bad guy here?  
JANE: These are just all the qualities that I already had.  
JANE: You were brainwashed by the Condesce.  
JANE: Like our whole lives.  
JANE: Wait...no.  
JANE: Yes.  
JANE: I’m not evil!  
JANE: Yes you are.  
JANE: NOT!  
JANE: Let us table that for the moment and move on to something more important.  
JANE: What’s more important than discussing our mortality??  
JANE: That seems like it should be a huge deal?  
JANE: When you are as hot as me, you don’t need to worry about small things like what is “good” and what is “evil.”  
JANE: What we do have to worry about, is our...urges.  
JANE: Urges??   
JANE: You mean like our taste for sweets or...?  
JANE: The other kind.  
JANE: Oh.  
JANE: Exactly.  
JANE: What can I do about it. I’m just you!   
JANE: Yes. You are me.  
JANE: And...I guess I am you...  
JANE: Yes.  
JANE: Are suggesting that we...  
JANE: We...  
JANE: Take your time.  
JANE: KISS??????  
JANE: I am suggesting far more than that.  
JANE: SEX?????!?????!??  
JANE: You are finally beginning to understand.  
JANE: Why would I want to have sex with an evil version of myself????  
JANE: It would be hot.  
JANE: ...  
JANE: fuck.  
JANE: I should not find myself attractive.  
JANE: Why not?  
JANE: Because I AM NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!!  
JANE: What?  
JANE: Attracted to girls you idiot!  
JANE: I’m not either.  
JANE: ???  
JANE: Oh. Right. What’s your stance on the whole “fucking your own clone” argument?  
JANE: Why is that even a thing???  
JANE: Just answer.  
JANE: ...  
JANE: I wouldn’t fuck my own clone because that is weird and gross.  
JANE: See, I _would_ fuck my own clone because that is just masturbation.  
JANE: NO! Because they are their own sentient beings!! With thoughts and feelings all their own!!   
JANE: That would be unethical as all hell.  
JANE: I’ll agree to that.  
JANE: Now, would you make out with a version of yourself one hour into the future?  
JANE: ......................  
JANE: I’m waiting.  
JANE: ......................  
JANE: Well?  
JANE: I’m not sure I like the way you’re looking at me.  
JANE: Doesn’t it excite you?  
JANE: NO!!  
JANE: ...  
JANE: maybe.  
JANE: ...  
JANE: OK GOD!!   
JANE: YES!! HOLY SHIT yes. (Fuck)  
JANE: There. What that hard to say?  
JANE: This makes no sense! Why would I like the idea of making out with myself???  
JANE: Because we are hot Jane Crocker.  
JANE: The sooner you realize that the sooner you can begin your real task.  
JANE: And that is?  
JANE: Using your looks to gain more power and have the world at your every beck and call.  
JANE: ...  
JANE: I’m not sure I want that??  
JANE: You want me though.  
JANE: AND???  
JANE: That proves nothing!!  
JANE: Do you want me or BE me. With nothing to stop your innermost desires. And one of those is to take EVERYTHING and make it mine.   
JANE: Oh god.  
JANE: Including myself.  
JANE: Fuck that is so hot.  
JANE: What did I tell you?  
JANE: That fucking your own clone is masturbation?  
JANE: I...don’t think I said that?  
JANE: You sure? Because I think I believe that now.  
JANE: Um...are you OK?  
JANE: I’m fine!! What’s your problem? Didn’t you want me all over you??  
JANE: ...  
JANE: Y-yes?  
JANE: Well than!  
JANE: Kiss me, me!!  



End file.
